i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
