i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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