And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize