Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
