Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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