my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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