Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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