Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
