is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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