Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
BRING THE BAGELS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
