So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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