Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
