the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
