Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
