And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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