You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
