Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
