we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
