just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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