this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
