i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize