I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
