everyone is single if you try hard enough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
