I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My breasts were aching with rage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
