lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
