after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
