What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
