I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish i was in the wii world.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
