my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
