There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
