sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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