"it" just moved
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
