I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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