I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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