its not stalking. its research.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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