theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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