im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
