Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize