these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
