franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
