I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How's work?
Spinning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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