Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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