I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
