hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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