If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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