I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
