Church boner. Awkwardddd
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
