My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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