No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
