may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Randomize