We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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