Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize