so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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