Your tits are I can't wait for
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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