I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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