Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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