apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
