i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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