i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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