True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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