If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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