She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
